Puddle’s Monologue

Body. Stillness. Springtime post-rainstorm.

[sound: burbling water]

Puddle is sleeping, dreaming of running water.

Puddle wants so badly to become a babbling brook.

Puddle awakes.

PUDDLE (Catch breath with violent coughing bursts.)

Puddles suffer, too, y’know?

[sound: a bird tweedles pleasantly.]

Ooh! A little birdy! Ehehe. I’m gonna catch you, little bird! Ehehe. Tweet, tweet, tweet!

(Mime attempting to catch the bird in a playful manner and grumpily give up.)

Hmph. You hear that bird? Puddles suffer too! I’ve died an infinite death. I taste light with every molecule of my being. Reflecting, refracting, absorbing… Mmm…

[sound: gust of wind]

(Pick up water cup)
(Begin “Sound of Water” mantra

Ahem.

[sound: ambient water sounds]

(Slowly, deliberately, and conducting each word.)

The sound of water is

rain, lap, fold, slap,

gurgle, splash,

churn, crash,

murmur, pour, ripple, roar,

plunge, drip, spout, slip,

sprinkle, flow,

ice, snow

 (1) O’Neill, Mary, “Sound of Water.” What Is That Sound!, Atheneum, 1966.

(Exaggeratingly deliberate, louder, and dancing each word.)

The sound of water is

rain, lap, fold, slap,

gurgle, splash,

churn, crash,

murmur, pour, ripple, roar,

plunge, drip, spout, slip,

sprinkle, flow,

ice, snow.

…

(Quickly, annoyed, grumbling, as if to rush toward the end of something.)

The sound of water is

rain, lap, fold, slap,

gurgle, splash,

churn, crash,

murmur, pour, ripple, roar,

plunge, drip, spout, slip,

sprinkle, flow,

ice, snow!

(Gargle and spit.)

Well, then.

(Toss cup.)

…

What will I find today?...

(Inspect the alley, snake to different areas, and finally pick up a piece of trash.)

A Twix candy bar wrapper

Hmm… Calories… 300… Fat… 13 grams…Car-bo-hy-drates… 31 grams… Protein! Everyone’s obsessed with protein… only 3 grams. Sodium, my favorite… 113 milligrams. Ok, what next…

(Shuffle around and pick up a lottery ticket.)

Ooh! A lottery ticket!

(Eat the lottery ticket to inspect and taste its chance.)

Hmm…

(Say random numbers 1 - 69 in between smacking lips and licking fingers.)

And the powerball! (Say random number between 1 - 25.)

Yes, a winning lottery ticket. Tastes like… a dark pit… high-pitched shrieking… arsenic… cyanide from an apple seed… Ah! A hint of chartreuse! How lucky.

(Take a swig of fizzy drink. Induce a burp.)

(Shuffle around and pick up the diary. Leaf through naturally.)

A wet diary. The ink has mostly seeped into the pages, rendering the text illegible as abstract indigo color fields.

(Rip out a page and eat it, as if to taste the hand of the writer

The writer’s hand… salty. Coated in an unnameable residue. Chipped nail polish and...

(Deep gasp. A sudden spellbound gaze, with uncontrollable stuttering.)

I… perhaps… I… on the… I… or…I… not only… I thought… would somehow… I forgot… I felt… I could feel… With the breeze… I thought… not words… Wind.(Beat. A gulp of clarity.)

[Play: windchimes]

I’ve been busy inside my summer chrysalis… I notice the dust, the distance, and piles of books. My appetite swells, my skin sheds. Blurs and traces of spirit carefully archived in wax etching. I’m an ant crawling on the page, inspecting the crevices of each letter–reading their form. To be in a scandal is to be alive. To be in love is to be tickled toward entropy. I’ve learned my lesson: I’m more of a karaoke soloist. My God, I’m so lonely…

My God, I'm so lonely…

[karaoke song: “NOBODY” by Mitski]

(Perform your heart out.)

My God, I’m so lonely

so I open the window 

To hear sounds of people 

To hear sounds of people 

Venus, planet of love, was destroyed by global warming 

Did its people want too much, too? 

Did its people want too much?

And I don't want your pity, I just want somebody near me 

Guess I'm a coward, I just want to feel alright 

And I know no one will save me, I just need someone to kiss 

Give me one good honest kiss and I'll be alright

Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody 

Ooh, nobody, nobody, nobody

I've been big and small and big and small and big and small again 

And still nobody wants me 

Still, nobody wants me

And I know no one will save me, I'm just asking for a kiss 

Give me one good movie kiss and I'll be alright

Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody 

Ooh, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody

Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody 

Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody 

Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody

Nobody, nobody, nobody 

Nobody, no-

(Suddenly collapse into the second body of water. Maybe vogue dip.

Whatever, improvise a dramatic ending.)

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